The Importance Of Being Told "No"



Sometimes it can feel like every “no” at an audition is a chip at your soul. Whether it’s a “no” from your dream summer program, college, or company, it’s easy to become consumed by what seems like a complete interruption of our pursuit of happiness.

I’m not here to tell you the things that your parents and friends tell you: no’s can be devastating. It’s hard to see the open door that’s waiting for you when yet another door has just slammed in your face. And frankly, sometimes, that “keep your head up” mantra just does not work.

What I am here to tell you is that hidden in those “no”s are the secret to your success.

Take some time to cry; grieve, punch your pillows, debate quitting; go through your usual cycle. But it’s important to remember; if we were always told “yes,” would there be opportunities for growth? In each “no” is a chance for us to learn a little bit more about ourselves. It's a chance to improve beyond how much you would have if you had simply gotten your way. A “yes” implies that you've done everything you can. You've reached your peak. You've become the best version of of yourself that you could be, in that moment. And of course, there are those moments that we don't understand. There are those rejections that feel unjust. But that brings us to our next point: ask “why.”

Reach out to that rehearsal director and ask what you could have done better. Ask that ballet master if you can visit a class and learn some more. Grab coffee with someone that is part of that college program. Learn as much as you can about your craft, and use that “no” to tighten your technique. Let each “no” become better balance, a tighter core, more immersion into the choreography. Turn “no” into “here’s why:” that’s the only way it becomes “yes.”

 

Raella Rayside

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